Thread: Eight self-sabotaging behaviors

Thread on Eight self-sabotaging behaviors

Putting this thread in one place.

🧵 @fortelabs recently finished the opening keynote on the Second Brain summit, which incidentally has a great lineup including a panel discussion on PKM through the lens of ADHD; and apparently you can still sign up:

Ironically, I didn’t quite take notes but I think the themes also feature in this short video:

The live session was fun because of a super engaged chat — everyone had great suggestions for managing some of these (surprisingly common?) behaviors.

I’ll not share the premise (it’s self-explanatory + there’s the video), but the discussion involved three parts:

  1. why it’s an issue;
  2. why-do-we-do-this-to-ourselves;
  3. how do we not keep doing it 😀

I’ll share a tweet-length summary of my takeaways.

Caveat I: 280 chars! Twitter isn’t the platform for nuance. 😅 Caveat II. Should go without saying, but all of this gyaan needs to be tempered with context, which was a frequently used word throughout the session!

Starting over (again and again)

⚠️  Not learning from previous mistakes. 🤔  False sense of accomplishment, dopamine hit from a clean slate, FOMO (new tools). 💡 Start simple, iterate slowly, resist looking at shiny new objects.

Feeling guilty

⚠️  Can’t win when you are at war with yourself. 🤔  Probably comes from knowing you’ll trip again. 💡 Extend to yourself the same courtesy and patience you’d show to a friend, consider replacing guilt with curiosity.

Perfectionism

⚠️  Not making mistakes is a risky way to live. 🤔  Feeds ego, sense of control and safety, and you think you push yourself harder with lofty standards. 💡 Aim for B+, fail in public and value it — can be a relief to not have to keep up with the perfect image.

Do all the research first

⚠️  When overdone, really procrastination in disguise. 🤔  Creates an illusion of getting work done. Paranoia associate with diving in without preparation. 💡 Second brains are not for archival, but production. Iterate often. Timebox research.

Going big

⚠️  Ambition dominates the public discourse around goal-setting. Big goals are not problematic until they get in the way. 🤔  Ego boosted, creates a potentially misguided sense of being inspired. 💡 Break things down, take incremental (read: realistic!) steps.

Doing it all yourself

⚠️  Potentially limiting. 🤔  A desire for respect or credit, and the sense that nobody can do this as well as me. 💡 Delegate when appropriate, especially when looking to scale and/or diversify.

Comparing yourself to others

⚠️  Potentially depressing. 🤔  Self-pity, and an excuse to not even try. 💡 Compare to past you. Read your old journal entries. (Also, journal.)

Postpone gratification

⚠️  For something to be sustainable, it needs to be fun! 🤔  Traditional positive quality. 💡 Enjoy the journey because nobody knows the destination. Live in the moment, find joy in the small things, be present. Also, music for instant gratification!

Do check out the Second Brain Summit for the remaining sessions. I think you get a link to a recording if you’re registered for a session, at least this was the case for me with the opening session. The community attending this is also on a slack.

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